off the map.

Something I’d left off from a list made so recently.

A long distance relationship.

Considering the languages of love… touch, words, gifts, service, time.

My tendencies run toward the former and latter.

Introducing a distance of any kind unravels my ideas and presumptions of what a relationship comprises.

I’ve had poor judgment in the past.

Really, I just shoot myself in the foot.

My temperament is the flaw. I don’t stay angry long enough.

The tempest passes. I tend to move on, without requiring an apology or definite resolution.

Which has been imprudent on my part.

If people aren’t allowed (and on occasion forced) to confront themselves, and their actions, and their words, they never learn how to communicate. To adapt within a friendship. The same issues will continue to arise.

I also forget that while I’m candid, others tend to be more reticent, or duplicitous.  

It doesn’t occur to me someone might lie, until I’m standing there, watching their face shutter as a manufactured version of an experience is produced.

We humans are aware when we've been lied to.

The trouble is acknowledging it in real time.

There is an alarm, an electrical short, a clicking noise, something that makes our brains slam on the brakes—making that terrible screech you hear right before the car crashes; so often we let that millisecond pass by only to feel the delayed whiplash later on.

That little bit of doubt is towed away. Off to where it stacks up almost out of sight…

Riiight on the periphery.. A fuzziness out of the corner of the eye.

You didn’t see it coming? Scout’s honour? Pardon this healthy dose of skepticism, then.

Friendship is a journey best embarked upon without a map.  

Yes, of course, you should know how to read a compass, discern which cardinal direction moss grows toward in your neck of the globe, by all means, know how to find the Southern Cross. Employ all relevant survival skills; a babe in the woods is of little use to anyone.

The trouble arises when one person produces the map early on. Oh, you've mapped out each petrol station, every toilet and coffee break for the entire trip? That was so… ... Thoughtful?

And they sit there looking at you as if they’re not a complete ass. Expecting the other to agree heartily with the terms, conditions, and limitations of their attachment. 

Such maps are symptoms of the following: a) emotional unavailability, b) control issues, and, c) residence in an entirely different sphere of reality.

Efforts such as these made to manage the evolution of relationships are baffling.

Relationships are nebulous entities. Thoroughly disobedient mechanisms; they exist of persons who share linked realities, but wholly different perspectives.

Some considerations as I ponder this new journey..

I'm in uncharted territory, folks.

Now Playing:

11 songs | 43 minutes, 49 seconds

láventure fantastique | Fantastic Plastic Machine |Bran Van 300 / Towa Tei

Red Alert | Basement Jaxx | The Singles

Hush Boy | Basement Jaxx | Crazy Itch Radio

Oh La La | Goldfrapp | Supernature

Jus 1 Kiss | Basement Jaxx | The Singles

Archangel | Burial | Untrue

Romeo | Basement Jaxx | The Singles

2 Times / F&A Factor Electro Mix | Anne Lee | 2 Times

Lights (Bassnectar Remix) | Ellie Goulding

Little Better | Gnarls Barkley | The Odd Couple

Heavenly Sweetness (Remix) | Better Daze | Thievery Corporation


The above image 'You Are Here' has been borrowed, and altered, from the original on www.jimkudrick.com. Sadly, neon signs are few and far between this side of Namibia.