Monday 31 August 2015

weeks, two (plans, none)

Those times you ration up for hunger pangs of exotic origin..
And you forget that you’ve stashed chocolate and oranges in your room, only to rediscover them, and realize you’ll not have to wander out across the bushveld in search of ice cream.

Now. Where’s my frakking chapstick?


The current of book of my obsession... (Nine chapters deep).
A Little History of the World, by E.H. Gombrich

He plays to some stereotypes at the end of each chapter, which has me going... Whoa. Whoa... (Joey a la Blossom style). But, I admit I do love this dumb/wonderful bundle of parchment.. 


Now playing: 
30 songs | 1 hour, 50 minutes

Almost Like Being in Love | Nat King Cole
Stand By Me | Ben E King
Twistin' the Night Away | Sam Cooke
Boys, What I Was Thinking... | The Beatles
Moonlight Bay | The Beatles
La Vie En Rose | Louis Armstrong
I Was Made to Love Her | Stevie Wonder
Use Me | Bill Withers
Journey into Melody | Stanley Turrentine
This Will Be Our Year | The Zombies
Spooky | Dusty Springfield
I Can't Get Next to You | The Temptations
Fuck You | Cee Lo Green
Real | Lupe Fiasco; Sarah Green
Call Me | Kimbra
The Other Side | Bruno Mars, ft Cee-Lo Green
Going On | Gnarls Barkley
Quiet Dog Bite Hard | Mos Def
Little Secrets | Passion Pit
Love Me Again | John Newman
Lights Go Down | Basement Jaxx
Two Way Street | Kimbra
Parachute Heart | Grace Potter & the Nocturnals
Timekeeper | Grace Potter & the Nocturnals
Bossa per Due | Thievery Corporation; Nicola Conte
Vanishing | Architecture in Helsinki
Hiszekeny | Venetian Snares
Eneby Kurs | Subtle
On | Aphex Twin
Marienbad | Julia Holter

Saturday 8 August 2015

to the mulizembeli who comes after...

I should be marking, but I’m still procrastinating.
The list of things I need to complete in my last forty-one days feels enormous.
And, like much of my service, feels like a continuation of… triage.
What are those important things, those last tasks that cannot be delayed, or ignored?

I’ve recently discovered there is a good chance that I’ll be replaced at my site.
That in itself is a relief. Not as a continuation of my project – that’ll either die or continue upon my departure – there is little I can do to control that. The library is there. The children use it every school day. I hope it’ll grow. They love reading, and painting, and simply having access to resources. What child wouldn’t?

But the volunteer that follows me—you’re going to face quite a challenge.
Some days it will feel like all you’re doing is plugging holes in the dam with nothing but your fingertips. [1]

And you need to be okay with that, because you’re a small cog in sluggishly evolving and ill-greased machine. Some days you’ll want to strangle your colleagues. Sometimes you’re going to want to strangle your students…

You’ll live for those days when you see the triumph on a child’s face as they grasp a new concept. When they finally feel confident enough to approach you for help. Conquering BODMAS in mathematics board races. Sounding out words, and realizing that reading isn’t an insurmountable task… It just takes practice.

New volunteer, you’ll have to follow my service—so a thing you’ll hear of, everyday, is my name (at least, at first)… Apologies.

Ms. Hope did this, Ms. Hope liked that, Ms. Hope told me this. It’ll drive you batty. Two years later, I’m still hearing about Mr. James Butler. Still being asked if I know him. A good three - four years after his World Teach service ended. Who knows… After I’ve said 946 times that the Americas are quite a large place, and no, I haven’t met Mr. James Butler… Maybe they’ve gotten the idea...

I hope that you stick it out your full two years of service. I’ve been mentally composing the letter I'll write to you for a couple weeks now. And, so as not to scare you, it will likely be a much shorter version of this…

I want you to know both how important you are… And how insignificant.
Peace Corps service is a journey and a struggle with maddening ups and downs.
It is also not at all about you in the slightest.

We’re here to exchange knowledge, fulfill a need for qualified staff, start tough conversations, and, yes, plug the dam. The goal is for our projects to be sustainable.[2] And sometimes they are. I, and the last volunteer in my village, have endeavored to tackle the low literacy rate. I’m not sure I was able to get much further than he.

The trouble with sustainability is you need host country nationals to invest in a project, and reading culture doesn’t really exist here… yet. So many of your colleagues will have been raised and studied within the ‘Bantu’ education system.[3] They weren’t read to by their mother every night. They didn’t get their own personal library card in the second grade. Often times, their parents might not even be able to read. Or if they can, it is Afrikaans in which they are fluent, that remnant of a language from their school days so long ago. Only now, twenty five years from independence, is the reading culture being developed – nursed into being. The flames need fanning. 

Adjust your expectations.
And recognize that as you are integrating into your village, so are your colleagues.
We live in the far bush—four to five hours in all three directions from the nearest towns.

New volunteer, you will be isolated. You will get dropped off, in the bush, and left behind by PC as they veer back an hour toward the tarred road and continue several more hours into Kavango. You’ll wonder what the hell you’re doing there. Your host-country counterparts… Most of them are thinking the same thing.

Six of sixteen of my school’s teachers started their first year teaching in Mangetti, three months before I arrived. Those cultural adjustments you’re making – your colleagues are making them too. They’re fresh out of college, struggling with classroom management, and they’ve been transplanted into the bush – they been living in a city for the past five-ten years, if not their whole life.

Share what you know, and recognize that you can learn a lot from your colleagues. You are, chiefly and most importantly, giving host-country nationals a chance to spend time with someone from a different culture, who speaks fluent English. You may not know how wildly radical a thing that is, living on the Red Line. [4]  

And the fact that you’re following a volunteer, and will hopefully be replaced by one… That too, is important. Because as 'insignificant' as you are, you’re not interchangeable. You are you. The only one. People realize that. They compare and contrast you with others. Start to see the differences from one to the next. You’re helping to break down stereotypes without even knowing you’re doing it, simply by participating in their lives.

And, as a teacher, a colleague, and, in the end—simply a villager—that will be among the greatest impressions you leave behind. Compelling others to take a look from a different view point. To empathize, and explore the things they thought they knew – and to consider the origins of their opinions.

I am so grateful to have been placed in my village, in Mangetti, Kavango West, Namibia.
My colleagues are amazing. Many of them are wonderful teachers. Though our methods are different, our goals are in the same vein. And our children are bright – though they are starving to be challenged.

Among these young Namibians you will find budding artists, brilliant engineers and craftsman, amazing singers, energetic teachers, frankly remarkable linguists, inventive chefs, gifted agriculturalists, compassionate leaders, thoughtful philosophers, and a number of talented writers and story-tellers. They are the future generation of the ‘land of the brave.’ I’m so looking forward to see what they’re able to accomplish.

New volunteer, I wish you all the best. I hope, too, that you love being here as much as I have.  



[1] When faced with the stark lack of resources, you might feel our education system is eons behind—but honestly, the progress I've seen, even in my two years, is remarkable. Though, it will likely face a rough transition over the next 5+ years, with the new marking standards that are going into implementation this spring. Oh, man... Our students and their parents are not going to be happy at first.

[2] A huge thank you to Mr. James Butler. You established a great library space in my village. And one, or both, of your parents sent over boxes and boxes of your childhood books. Many scrawled with your name in red crayon. (I use them as examples for our younger learners as how not to treat library books). Clearly you loved to read as a child. I am eternally grateful. As are our students who voraciously consume these remnants of your childhood. You’ll be happy to know, our library is greatly expanded. We’ve added over a thousand books—and counting—since your departure (though the battle against termites continues.)

[3] Corporal punishment, unnecessarily strict rules, and low expectations will drive you insane.

[4] Daily multi-cultural interaction is a radical thing south of it, too, though. Great respect to the volunteers who must deal with so-called ‘Africa-Lite.’ That is an entirely different struggle, and I do not envy you those prejudices, and the out-right racism you, your students, and colleagues have to deal with so frequently. Though I do envy you your students’ mastery of English. 

Thursday 6 August 2015

the method.

I'm told it’s called 'structured procrastination.'

things I should have done.
180+ exams of continuous writing. They should be half marked by now. Part of me rebels, as the only reason I’m stuck with grades 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 (instead of just 6 and 7) is because my former colleague resigned a week before exams started. Another part wishes I’d thought of that.

Update the schools reporting schedules to reflect the syllabus/grading scale changes. Excel, we will meet at 3am on Monday morning, at the rate I’m operating.

Drill and secure the mounts for my library shelving. But, the library is perpetually swarming with my students, so…

Apply for the job at the Center for Reproductive Rights in NYC, that I so desperately desire. 

things I did instead:
Read Shakespeare’s sonnets aloud on Project Gutenberg. Thank you, ‘random’ button.

Finished UBIK. The digital copy I have ends with “42.” This makes me now want to read Hitchhikers, again. Which reminds me, I was supposed to forward that along to a number of people. Let’s add that to the 'should have done' file.

Laundered and gifted away the bulk of my clothing. (Even the skivvies.) Now, at least, with my wardrobe so reduced, I have a legitimate excuse for coming to work in jeans. Less guilt is nice. Also, my belongings are down to two bags again. So I’m ready to move on and ship out.

Fully cleaned my entire dwelling for the first time in a year. (Well… mostly.)

For the most part, assembled Camp GLOW manuals.

things I should be looking forward to…
Camp GLOW in eight days.

Getting my hands on a Nikon D3100 in seven days...

My IUD insertion in five days. (Huzzah, long term birth control.)

things I am actually looking forward to:
A package from my eldest sister, T—, containing Annie’s mac, plus two vital books as additions to my village library.

Spending a couple days with my buddy B—, in the PC flats in the capital before camp. We’re resigned to living on apples and cheese. (Just wait until he finds out about the mac).

Also, B—'s girlfriend, E—. Another exciting prospect. (Can I keep her?) Also, if London (A—) mistakes our outing for a date, I’m going to need the pair to tag along. He ends his texts with “xx” … Is this something Londoners do, now?

A Da-mâi Dance Ensemble performance at the Franco-Namibian Cultural Center in fifteen days. Yes!

Sunday 2 August 2015

vital little things.

My time as a PCV is winding down, so cue the obligatory service related posts...  
In no particular order, here are the twenty things that I couldn’t have lived without during my Peace Corps service in Namibia.

1. Electrical tape.
With the power surges and questionable wiring, things overheat/cook. (Mostly people will wrap melted wires with plastic shopping bags). Thank you, oh mighty UL (Underwriter’s Laboratory) listed electrical tape, from the states. Accept no substitutes.

2. Seam ripper (and my sewing kit).
Vital for anyone who sews (and for some who don’t). A stitch in time saves nine.

3. Isotonic side-sleeper pillow.
We’ve had a lovely five years together. This is possibly the best relationship I’ve ever been in. (Even though you were stupid expensive.)

4. 100% Rag Translucent Marker Paper.
Art supplies this side aren’t often up to snuff. Bring what you can’t live without (within reason).

5. Uniqlo paisley boho drawstring pants.
Most versatile item of clothing that I brought with me. Thank you Kristen, for insisting we stop at Uniqlo on my last trip to NYC. I bow to your wisdom.

6. Bandannas/handkerchiefs.
Ladies in my village were horrified that I was blowing my nose into these beauties, instead of wrapping up my hair. (I’m allergic to dust.) Now my kids carry them. Bringing back the hanky. Oh yeah.

7. Leather belt.
You will be told that this will mold in the tropics (and that the buckle may rust)... It might. But plastic melts, and canvas belts are difficult to take seriously. 

8. Dual-sided bathroom mirror.
I’m not sure if they make glass out of tissue paper here… ?

9. Pumice stone.
Your feet will get wrecked. And the “pumice” stones this side are no such thing.

10. Mini Moleskine journals.
I love my biggun, but there is nothing like being able to whip one out of my purse or pocket on the fly before some random thought floats on by.

11. Green Pilot V5 rolling ball pens.
Staedtler, you’re a distant second… Pilot has my heart.

12. Assorted Baggu shopping bags and stuff sacks.
Shopping and packing made easy by Baggu. I brought solid colors (though I longed for their feisty patterned ones) and they’re starting to fray a bit, due to the use, but I figure, they’re what, seven years old? Solid buy.

13. ACLU bottle cozy.
Protecting freedom, justice, equality, and my beverage. (Thanks, Maureen!)

14. Timbuk2 backpack (plus bottle opener).
Sure, I bought it because it was blue and had a bottle opener (plus a sleeve for my Ultrabook…) but the make and durability of this thing is amazing. Travelling abroad? Buy one.

15. Dell Ultrabook w/ 500GB hard drive (w/ Windows 7).
Windows 8 is the worst. Should I be terrified that I just reserved Windows 10 on my pc? Also, everyone is ecstatic about their external hard drive until it gets stolen (or it dies.) I kind of like that I have to triage my movie selection. And, really, why do I need more than 250 GB of space reserved for films? (Though next time I’m throwing down for steady state. You know it.)

16. Leatherman.
As long as you never let it out of your sight (and subsequently out of your possession) this will be the single most useful tool in your arsenal. (Apologies to my cousin, to whom I never sent a thank you note… I’m an ass).

17. Full-length cotton bathrobe.
I’m not big on pajamas, so this thing has allowed for modesty (and warmth) time and again.

18. ACE ankle braces.
Dancing (and cheerleading) nearly killed the tendons in my ankles, but these suckers kept me upright while conquering mountains and massifs in sneakers (Columbia) when the tread on my hiking boots (Keens) failed after a single month. [1]

19. Scunci bun twists.
You may have heard, but it’s hot in Africa in the summer… and I’ve got hypo-hydrosis (and lots of tresses.) These twists saved me from heatstroke many a time, simply by keeping my hair up, where all other hairbands and clips have failed.

And last, but not least…

20. Diva Cup.
I remember sitting with my friend Erica and giggling over the advertising copy for this little silicone cup. But now, I wonder – how did I ever use disposable feminine products for that long? Ladies of childbearing age (home or abroad), seriously, check 'em out.

Honorable mentions:
My Nikon (though I had to buy another lens in Namibia after a series of technical difficulties) and my Fuji Instax. A thank you to my ex. You only ever gifted me with electronics (and little black dresses) because you never knew any better… But, whatever, thanks booger.


[1] In Keen’s defense, the canvas mary janes that I purchased as dress shoes are the ugliest, but absolutely the best, shoe purchase I’ve made in years. I walk 4-6km every weekday and teach in ‘em. Just avoid the boots, yo.

Thursday 30 July 2015

we'll talk...

Days ago, I had a completely different impression of that damned expression.
And, now… Same designation, altered notion.

There is anxiety in rebooting a friendship.
A long distance one, at that.
The fear of buggering it up.
Countered by the relief that I’m not fully insane..
(I really did wonder if I was slipping.)

It’s been years, now.
And time has been squandered.
But, let’s just see what we can come up with in these last fifty days.
No pressure, no plots, no plans... 

But, never say, “We’ll talk later,” again.
History has revealed us to be daft idiots.

And those blunders, I don't wish to repeat.

Tuesday 23 June 2015

selfie.


Photography is such a slippery medium. 
You never know what emotion you're going to capture. 
Or whether, in fact, your subjects will look like themselves. 
A random thought, a flash of memory and the face contorts; you've photographed an entirely different person. Maybe, though, that's the whole idea.

doodle no.587


I am a perpetual procrastinator, and unfortunately, it seems to work for me. Though I could live without the stress.. This ink and paper design is an example of an artistic surge under the pressure of procrastination (and a missed submissions deadline.)
After multiple google searches of African relics and artifacts for inspiration, I figured I'd just give up and fall asleep... Then this doodle, by inveterate 'doodler' Miriam Badyrka, showed up randomly... And then I figured, what the hell... Doodles are what I do. 
Above is my take on the 25 year anniversary of Peace Corps in Namibia.  Looking forward to cleaning this image up a bit, and digging out my art supplies in the states and silk-screening this graphic (minus text)... 

Tuesday 16 June 2015

drunk, adjacent.

This weekend held host the semi-traumatizing task of choosing campers for a leadership camp. [1]  After two years interacting with adolescent kids in a rural community, and having once been one myself, I am sensitive to the importance of getting out of the village. [2]

Thankfully, there was a group of five making the final choices. In fact, I could only fully review half. It’s emotionally exhausting to hold such responsibility. And I’ve been a hiring manager, before. Easy in comparison. Adults you can hold to a higher level of responsibility, and therefore, their level of preparedness in an application.

Children… There is such potential. But potential can be tamped out. Left to deteriorate. Trying to triage and advance the applications for learners that could benefit the most… leaves you in desperate need of a drink. Wine to dull, chai to soothe.



[1] Camp GLOW Namibia. GLOW = Girls and Guys Leading Our World. Apart from my school library, it’s one of the most rewarding parts of my service. And we run into former campers, after the fact. One, who had attended camp a half decade ago, broke into song--an “energizer”—while making an assist on the other side of the counter at FNB.

You never can be sure what will make an impact on a child’s life. But a camp that’s all about empowerment of self, gender equality, advancement of civic responsibility and leadership can’t hurt, right?

[2] My mother fell for a man over the internet. He lived across the pond. Plus Camp Alexander Mack. Possibly the best camp, ever. (Sorry, Camp Singing Hills.) Plus tramping to antique shows the length and breadth of the North-Eastern US through my early childhood. I got out. Often. A privilege not many children are able to enjoy.

... random tid-bits from the weekend:

“You’re a Peace Corps Volunteer… You are here in the spirit of service, after all.”
                “It’s true. Next time, I’ll just lay down and let him have his way with me.”
“Well… That’s what I would've done.”
                “Now I know... Now I know.”

“You didn’t really talk to us. You were just off to the side with L— and A—, drinking.”    
                “You were a PCT... PCVs aren’t allowed to drink with them.”
“You were drunk.”
                “I wasn't drinking 'with' you.. We were at a party… I was drunk, adjacent.”

Sunday 31 May 2015

road trip — a detour

day 6

I think I killed Ali.

I hadn’t, but sleeping in an unfamiliar place is difficult, and when you add the way a car accident jerks you about, it’s neigh impossible. A little past midnight, I found myself peering through the darkness to the adjacent bed for movement.

While we both escaped mostly with bruises and stiff muscles, Ali’s head had smacked against something, causing a lump. Guilt and discomfiture were keeping me awake.

Unbeknownst to me, Ali, was awake, too.  Finally, the wench batted something from the front of her face. Whew. Alive.

The next morning, Titus awoke us with Calvin (the gent who gave us the tour of the cats) and apprised us our Peace Corps driver, Jefda had called ahead – and that breakfast had been prepared for us.

Seriously, Hammerstein Lodge. You are amazing.

The drive out on that same stretch was a little tense, I admit it. We learned—after the incident—that another car, a 4x4 bakkie driven by someone who lived in the area, had overturned about 100 metres from where we had—the week before. Not comforting.

I spent most of the drive asleep, slumped over the backseat, clutching my seatbelt, drooling.

Two memorable moments with the Maltahohe police… After a while, I realized that the glassy eyed man in the cage was not some unkempt officer, but conspicuously drunk. A second, far more bedraggled inebriate joined the first wavering on his feet, and it clicked. A public shaming in the town square.

The other was, upon hearing where we lived, they started hollering for their ‘Kavango’ and ‘Herero’ speaking colleagues.

While the gentleman speaking Herero was able to communicate with Ali, the man who approached me was not speaking Rukwangali. My Ruk is, admittedly, terrible, but I know if you’re speaking it or not. Hell, I even usually know what’s being said. Unfortunately, he started off in one of the seven languages spoken in my region that are not Rukwangali, and while a native speaker could sort it out, I am no such thing.

Turns out, he’s speaking Nyemba, a language spoken in Northern Kavango, but primarily in Angola. He then enquired if I spoke Chokwe, another Angolan language. I’m afraid I was nothing more than a disappointment to them all, but Ali, as she had with the English to English translations, covered for me and rocked a conversation for about ten minutes.

See, not all Americans bungle languages – just me. Pffftt.

Eventually we made it to Windhoek, were x-rayed by astoundingly attractive radiology techs, after being checked out by the Peace Corps medical officers. Ali’s took too long (by about five minutes), leaving me to a pissing contest with the PCMO, Lyn. (Figuratively).

Lyn has been working with the Peace Corps for… 29 years? I think. She’s lived in, at least, 26 countries. During the course of my physical exam, it turned out I have minor hearing loss in my left(?) ear.[1] The woman is in her sixties with perfect hearing. I had to trounce her on the eye exam just to show her up. Second to last line at twenty feet with my left eye. Beat that, woman.

[1] Considering that I am struggling to remember details now, perhaps the memory loss should be at the forefront of my mind rather than the hearing…

day 7

Don’t you celebrate Ascension Day in your country? No?
While our x-rays showed no injuries—to our unpracticed eyes—other than the whopper on Ali’s skull… We had to be cleared by the radiologist at the Catholic hospital, whose MRI department was closed for the religious holiday. So. An extra day of medical hold. Joy. [2]

Prepared for the idle of holiday (and the eminent temporary closures of most businesses), we entertained ourselves by dying Ali’s hair. I’ve never made an assist apart from my mother’s hair, which, though she attempts to hide it, is shock white. You know if you’ve missed the roots. Not so, on a brunette punching up the colour to an auburn. Just another thing to be paranoid about, I guess.

[2] So we never got to Sousessvlei, but at least I’d gotten a full night’s sleep.
Ali tells me I fell asleep mid-sentence.

day 8

Get me out of here.
The thought hounding my brain, for though while I’ve been idle with friends in the capital, and we’d been gorging on yummy Indian cuisine at Garnish, and sushi at Nice… the purgatory of medical hold is not an acceptable holiday alternative.

Made worse was someone had let it slip… (A— you’re the worst, I love you). And we had been on the receiving end of frantic enquiries as to our health.

They mention the rumor mill during your pre-service training.
It’s like high school. Equally un-formed, half-coherent tales abound about all manner of situations.
It’s easy to laugh off the idea of adults participating in a specious rumor mill, until a series of your acquaintances get fresh meat in their teeth.

By mid-morning, we were medically cleared and free to go.
My next move? Get to the hazy coast, and sunny Jacques, now, now, please.


For photos of this leg of the trip, check out my google+ album, here.


Saturday 30 May 2015

road trip — the Maltahöhe plop

day 5

Look, the trip odometer flipped back to zero. We were at 1900+ yesterday.. 
We’re at 19 now, plus, I assume 2000, plus the first hundred before we remembered to track it. Nice. [1] 

It was our second to last day with the car, and we were headed to Sousessvlei.
Ali had lost her sunglasses, as one is wont to do during travel, and we procured a new pair, purchased food to braai, gassed up the car and headed out toward Maltahöhe—our final destination to be Sesriem.

By this time, I’d learned that Ali, while spectacular in many realms, is not always positive of her geography. It's not that she gets lost. Its the tone of uncertainty in her voice as you head in the right direction. It makes you scramble for the map. Just to make sure you're right, and that you can prevent her from swinging into a U-turn preemptively before you've gotten to the mile marker you're aiming for..

It doesn't help, though, that the tourist maps of Namibia have giant dots to indicate cities and villages, but are so large, they often block intersecting roads, and locales will be designated by their relative location, but sometimes on the opposing side of the road, or even a road over—according to the map, should the graphics prove too overpowering. (The reality is, though, it’s pretty hard to get lost in Namibia, even with a map that is lacking.)

Anyway, we hit a snag.
After the fact we designated it ‘the Plöp.’
Well, take a look for yourself. Do you see the problem?

the Plöp


A decidedly unfortunate turn of events.
One minute we’re slowly chugging down the road, the next, I’m cursing: Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Trying to correct the slide, but we've slipped through deep sand, and, upon spinning, encountered a ridge of sand that proves too great for the combined force and low wheel base.

Ali exits first, crawling through the back, and out the door. I’m hanging there, upside-down, attempting to process the fact I've just flipped a rental car that is, one, on my friend’s credit card. And, two, that we’re alive. Then I’m handing her sandals through the broken window.

I had trouble finding words.. Minor shock, I suppose.
Staring dejectedly at the car for a moment, I looked over at Ali. 
Shit. I am so fucking sorry..

Random snippets from my travelling companion immediately following the overturn:

At least I found my sunglasses.

The wine didn't even break. [2]

Hope, I know you don’t believe in God, but I had just taken my knees down from the dash. My legs would've broken.

Don't worry. We have no cell service, but we've got plenty of food. And a tent. ... I've got to pee. 
And off she went. A whirlwind, that one.

In my perturbed state after flipping a vehicle, while staring at the car, I for some reason pulled out my left earring and chucked it away from myself, only to realize my behavior was spastic, and then set to looking for it (to no avail), while gathering other random debris that had been evacuated from the car during the plop.

I tried to rescue the leftover pizza from the day before. 60-second rule, right? We were in the bush—desperate times, you know? (Ali will never let me live this down, so I must own to it, though at the time, I was attempting to be surreptitious. It was ham and pineapple pizza. Worth a salvage attempt, one would think.)

And, though we overturned in the middle of bushveld, with no cell service, it was almost midday – and halfway to Sesriem; within five minutes three vehicles had stopped.

One of the more excited tourists kept voicing, Surely, together, we could turn it over.. 

The Namibians on hand were of a more practical nature. I was whisked to a nearby lodge—Hammerstein—by a Mr. Opperman to deal with the immediate aftermath, and necessary phone calls, while Ali sat on a camping chair with Mrs. Opperman in the bush, waiting with the car.

I think she may have processed the whole thing better than I, as she had to sit staring at the thing for the better part of an hour.

By the time Ali reached the lodge, I’d managed to have the car arranged to be towed with the rental company and recovery service, had dealt with the mild (yet reasonable) hysteria from the Peace Corps office, confirmed for the eighth time that, ‘yes, we were wearing seat-belts.’ The morning pick-up to file a police report and for the obligatory chest and neck x-rays that follow any auto accident had been scheduled, and I had been head-butted by a rogue springbok. [3]

Unbeknownst to me, though, was that not only had the lodge staff stowed our bags in our room for the night, they’d done so in the intention of comp'ing our stay.
Hammerstein Lodge is wonderful. Full stop.

I will say, that such prompt assistance, and ending up at a place with such a warm staff was great luck in a bad situation. Titus (one of the nicest men in Namibia) plied us with espresso and hot chocolate, then insisted we dine with the other guests, but that first, we should rest before the nature walk to see the cats. Pardon, wait, what? Did you say cats?

She's braver than I am.
I'm not into petting animals I'm not acquainted with. Wild or not. I stood nearby the guide, Calvin..
The last cheetah I encountered was decidedly bad tempered.

In the end, that rental car bill will cost us—but, we’re alive, and it’s only money.




[1] If you count the additional 80 km from Maltahöhe, and the 100 or so from Mariental... We made it about 2299 kilometres before calamity struck. Ali has made the joke that we've now fully integrated as Namibians.

[2] I would later break this same bottle of wine, by swinging the mini-fridge door open too quickly.

[3] That particular springbok later stood about a half metre away, chewing its cud, staring me directly in the eye, while taking a hefty dump. I guess he told me.

For photos of this leg of the trip, check out my google+ album, here.



Thursday 28 May 2015

road trip — Keets/Mariental

day 4

Brought to consciousness earlyby the industrious sounds of camp being packed all around us, I stumbled over Ali and out of the tent, my bladder compelled in the cardinal direction of the ablution block.

Arriving back at our campsite (no. 11, picked for its proximity to the toilets and it's relative privacy), Ali was standing sleepily looking over the remnants of the previous night's festivities.

We agreed to breakfast at the canyon, and began to pack up camp.
The fire pit was easy work, as I’d cleared most of it the night previous, apart from the coals. It was the tent which proved to be moderately vexing.
When I said we flung it open the night previous, I wasn't joking.
You pop it into the air, it opens up, et voilà.
It had been a while since when I’d packed the sucker last, but my memory served to remind me that the five step process suggested by the pictorial instructions, was in reality three steps that harbored very little similarity to those on paper.
We figured it out, threw it in the back, and trundled out to the rim for breakfast before we would head to Keetmanshoop for our next stop.

Due to some miscommunication, once in cell service we found ourselves without a place to stay for the night, so we decided to take in all Keets had to offer, then head north to another volunteer’s site in Mariental.

It turns out Keets has a thing or two to offer, those things just differ greatly from person to person. In Ali’s mind, I think that offering came in the shape of the tripod pug at the Quiver Tree forest site. She reacted with the same wonder and joy I would witness the next day upon her interaction with cheetahs.

For me, the hyraxes topped the Kokerboomwoud (Quiver Tree forest). Hyraxes are thick, furry and rounded herbivores, usually around the size of a household cat. Once pegged as harmless tourists – and therefore no threat – the mother of the hoard opted to ignore us, sunning herself atop a mound of stones. The adolescents scrambled at any sound, and the babies, curious, peered from the rock crevices, less adventurous, and more likely to take cues from their matriarch.

After we downed the bulk of a couple pizzas under observation of an encroaching flock of birds, we hop, skipped, jumped down the road to Giant’s Playground... which was for me, a bit meh.. But, Ali is down for bouldering, likely due to her geographic origins, so off she went exploring the odd and random geometric patterns effected from wind erosion, while I would occasionally holler to ascertain her location, trying to figure out if there was anything to see here, other than a tourist’s trap..

Midday, we headed up to Mariental to hang with Sinthu and Evie.

I think in the end, it was better all the same for the change of overnight locale…
Oh, and I finally took a picture of this: 




Namibia is host to a large number of ephemeral rivers. Though most of the year they are dry basins, they are never-the-less marked at each bridge along the highway. In the north, the names of these dry tributaries are variedin the south, such imagination isn't evident. Aub, for example is, I'm told, a Herero word for watering hole. Wasser is, well, wasser.

From day one, we'd taken to calling out the names of the river placards as we passed them. 
Aub, Aub, Aub, Wasser, Fish, Aub... 

This was day four, yes? 
We'd gotten to the point we'd just call out: 'Aub, aub, aub, fish, aub' at random.

For photos of this leg of the trip, check out my google+ album, here.



Tuesday 26 May 2015

road trip — Hobas

day 3

You know this just means you get a free pass to screw me over, right? I’ve earned it.
My comment to Ali after a miscommunication had me pulling the car around (stalling first) in a U-turn to proceed to the /Ai-/Ais hot springs and camp site. 

This was after a morning of patient instruction on proper shifting of gears. From Luderitz – where car guards are taken very seriously – to a few handfuls of kilometres from Keetmanshoop – then south toward Fish River Canyon and our campsite at Hobas.

She was right in her hesitancy to proceed to this interim destination. As a retreat to recuperate after hiking the canyon – yes, the /Ai-/Ais NWR resort could be an ideal locale, were it not for the sheer number of guests (largely European and S. African). The site itself is small, and tightly packed with buildings – though their facilities are lovely (as is the large outdoor pool pumped with heated spring water).

I will say, though, that I’m glad we drove through the park. While Ali is from Colorado-land, I’m from a flat-land. I will take any and all of the mountains you can throw at me.

Her, she is bored by them. (An attempt at Namlish).

As it turns out, my Namlish is atrocious. The speed and cadence of my speech is still largely Americanized, and as such, I was often misunderstood in the south.
Luckily, we had Ali on hand as our collective English to English interpreter.

When we finally arrived at Hobas, we had just enough time to fling up our tent, then pop to the NWR tuck shop for overpriced beer (N$108 for a six-pack, and Ali’s choice in extracting pain as punishment), then straight to the viewing station for an epic sundowner. We closed the joint down, and waited till all one could hear was the eerie howl of the wind rushing over the canyon’s rim.

But then the stars came out, and our bellies growled and we headed back to start up a fire.
After living in Namibia, I tend to employ a 3-stone fire (though I recognize it is an inefficient use of fuel in a land susceptible to desertification).

This was a rare treat for me..
I don’t know what it is about women, pasty-white ones in particular, but there seems to be general consensus they are unable to start a fire. In Namibia, tending the fire is woman’s work – unless you’re pale, then it tends to be assumed you don’t know how to start a fire, or that such work should be considered beneath you. Though, in America, its man’s work, so don’t get yourself dirty there, little lady.

Again, I’m not sure why, but there seems to be a general sense of astonishment after I build a fire. I've never understood the thinking. If cavemen were able to do it, why should I be considered less capable? (Also I was a girl scout for at least a decade, so it continues to exasperate me).

A topic Ali and I discussed and expanded upon while heating up chakalaka, warming sausages, toasting brötchens, and swilling a fruity moscato before tucking in our meal, and then ourselves (into our tent).

Top freaking night. 




For photos of this leg of the trip, check out my google+ album, here.



Monday 25 May 2015

road trip — Luderitz

day 1

My camera is in the trunk. My coat, too.
These are the thoughts skimming my brain as Ali and I ease back in our seats, on our final approach to Luderitz.

Ali, in the driver’s seat, turns to me and asks if I’m seeing it, too.

The sunset; a hazy technicolor dream.
Chalky and brilliant.
The sun permeating the haze, making the air appear to shimmer and move.
Gold deepening to amber, a deep carmine flooding toward the horizon.
The landscape, a dark and shifting backlit horizon—ever-changing mountains, ridges, and hills as the road wound through.

In the end, I rationalized no pictures, no words can express the scene.  Also, that, since my coat was in the back, I’d be cold fetching it and the camera… after driving continuously throughout the day, comfort was king.

notable absurdities:
—A very kind lady at a petrol station agreed to fill up my Nalgene water bottle, and asked if I wanted cold water. Um, sure, I replied – it doesn’t have to be cold, it can be a little warm. Strange, I thought, I've never had that question, before… And she seems to be taking an awful lot of time for the tap.

Turns out, due to my miscommunication, this obliging woman took the time to boil water and proceeded to fill my Nalgene.

Never will I not say ‘tap water’ again. My mistake, absolutely. Oh, my poor warped Nalgene.

—That night, tired and snuggled under the covers in the next room, we listened as marginally inebriated PCVs discussed Himba culture and the industry of tourism that their tribe engages in, and the startling contrasts evident now in their culture from such interactions, with a fully intoxicated German tourist.[1] 

While they meant well, the conversation didn't lend to fully informed discourse, but I've got to applaud them for trying to rally—and engage in a third goal conversation (essentially) with a semi-hostile German.



[1] Levels of intoxication are approximated. It was a conversation through a wall, after all. We didn't rouse them to our arrival until morning, because, hey – it was late, and we were warm and comfortable under our blankets, having a lively conversation about relationships and sex at an audible level in the next room. So, maybe the onus of responsibility was upon them to recognize our voices…

Though, as it turns out, I was on the receiving end of a minor bed-bug attack at that particular back-packers… So immediate karmic retribution for avoidance, maybe?



day 2

For photos of this leg of the trip, check out my google+ albums, here and here.

With luck, and the local PCV's assistance in finding the tourist bureau, we made the last tour of the weekend at Kolmannskopp.

Loved Ali all the more for it. One, for submitting to my enthusiasm, and secondly for actively engaging intellectually. We tramped along the dunes from structure to structure. Myself, mostly silent, photographing faded stencils and accumulating sand—Ali voicing her observations and thoughts on the tour introduction and the realities of the DeBeer's Co. practices.[2] Echoing my own thoughts, and expanding on them.[3] 

We stayed until the last possible minute, then headed back into town. I had my first turn at the wheel of a manual transmission in… a decade. I stalled that mother. A lot. Those next thirty minutes were comical. Also, pedestrians do not cross the street in the same type of fear you witness in the north of Namibia. In the south, they stroll. Evidently ‘right of way’ is an acknowledged right of pedestrians. Culture shock, for this northern Namibian transplant.

Kolmanskopp, Namibia

Kolmanskopp, Namibia


Kolmanskopp, Namibia

Afterward we picked up the local PCV, who we’d previously (unceremoniously) dumped at the tourist bureau to scramble to the NamDeb tour. Before we headed to a braai at Griffith Bay, we decided to head to Agate Beach and try our hand at spotting washed up agates (diamonds embedded in rock) on the shore.

Smooth, and oh they can be any colour’ wasn't the most illustrative expression of the object we sought… With a questionable description on what we were looking for, exactly, and after rambling a ways down the beach, we had given up. I hadn't cared much to begin with, and had actively been picking up shells and keepsakes as if I've never seen an ocean before. (My purse pocket was filled, and by then possessed the salty smell of decay particular to such treasures).

Finally, I looked down, and saw one rock that was not like another.
Success. An agate. Embedded in rock, beaten by the ocean floor, until the hearty strength of the stones within were exposed by a softer stone, layer by layer. Upon holding out the stone for inspection, Ali pounced upon the smoothed encrusted stone, and I knew I’d need to find another if I hoped to have one for myself.[4]

Can you spot the agates?

Diaz Point, Luderitz, Namibia


Then off to a braai held monthly by the international volunteers in Luderitz. (First with a detour to Diaz Point, of course). All quite young, and mostly recent transplants, it was a fun, but interesting dynamic to observe the conversation amongst them. I may just be jaded, and though I am absolutely thrilled by their spirit of service, it is hard to relate, at times, with newer volunteers—and those who have not experienced the cultures of the Namibian north. I hope they make their way from the coast, and above the Red Line. [5]  



[2] It reminded me of E— + E—’s wedding. When R— was shushing me for quietly commenting on (dissenting) the vows the minister was employing.

[3] Namibia bought a 50% share in the DeBeer’s diamond mining industries in the nineties, and as such, the controlling interests are ‘NamDeb.’ This means the government is able to participate in and profit from mining their own resources. This is, of course, after the great bulk of diamonds have been harvested from the sands of the coast over a centuries’ time. In some places, like in Sperrgebiet, the diamonds were so plentiful, they could be gathered, essentially, by the shovel-full from the dunes in which they resided. The tour guide, of European descent, gave the introduction a level of incredulous humor in stark contrast to the gaping realities of the subject matter. Especially in reference to the smuggling attempts, and southern Africa’s first and finest x-ray machine. The NamDeb tour needs to be rethought, and a cultural curator employed. Stat.

[4] I did, of course, once we knew what they looked like, but my favorite catch of the day is a nearly perfect orb of clear quartz reminiscent of a pearl.

Much of my rock quarry was abandoned in the courtyard at the back-packers. I’d like to lie and say I artfully arranged them to some end, but really, I just dropped them in a half moon around a potted succulent and then laughed at the absurd number I’d acquired, then discarded, in an afternoon’s time.

[5] One particular volunteer was highly offended by my using my knee to gently push back the face of a waist high dog that was nosing for food near the fire. She gave an insulted cluck, and snidely remarked ‘That’s rude...’ Americans and Europeans, you are this close to driving me nuts with your treating dogs like humans. And the expectations that others should do so, too. Curb your damn dog.

Oh, my. I could go on this rant for ages. I won’t.


oh, tate..

Camille Paglia was the point at which I fully picked up on the vibe.
The idea that I was subtly being shamed had been daubing across my consciousness for a while.

The confusion was, to what purpose did it serve?

During the conversation, I had made certain allowances, I admit.
At no point did I back down, or defer to my hoary colleague, but I did allow certain avenues to go undiscussed due to the obvious discomfort of the other conversant.
My considerations were thus: he is markedly older, and of a different culture of time, and recently his daughter had passed.

I couldn't say he was fully outside the bounds of propriety—whatever they may be..
He is an intelligent and mostly polite older man. He speaks his mind. A quality I have (usually) enjoyed.

The conversation—itself—spanned art, culture, memories, personal histories, anecdotes on relationships, feminism.

Its conclusion, a disappointment.
Not only the sense of entitlement in the assertion and request; the method in which he attempted to steer the conversation.

An old trick.
Confuse your target—vacillate between compliments and criticism.
Offer sympathies, then assert authority—demean gently.
Skirt the edge of insecurity.
Make the approach, and your case.
The flustered quarry seeks approval and submits.

A key point may have been made by Paglia.
Men do reveal themselves as the weaker [sex] in approaches such as these.


Are you sure you wouldn't like to share the tent?
I really think I would enjoy holding your body against mine.

I just bet you would.