out weekend resolutions.

This weekend I will not..

.. waste N$85 on a braai pack that I won't eat anyway.

.. make the mistake of purchasing 2 bottles of that tannin-less wine.. again.

.. stand drunkenly in the kitchen in my party dress shoveling delicious egg and potato salad into my mouth with a serving spoon out of the giant tub when I'm supposed to be bringing it outside..

This weekend I will..

..ah, I'm not sure, why limit myself? 

It's two o'clock on a Saturday morning. 

I've awoken from my hops soaked slumber to wrangle up some strawberry yogurt and edit the various typos from my last post. New rule. Read and edit before posting. 

Current horoscope (Freewill):

Week of 24 July: 

Hypothesis: The exciting qualities that attract you to someone in the first place will probably drive you a bit crazy if you go on to develop a long-term relationship. That doesn't mean you should avoid seeking connections with intriguing people who captivate your imagination. It does suggest you should have no illusions about what you are getting yourself into. It also implies that you should cultivate a sense of humor about how the experiences that rouse your passion often bring you the best tests and trials. And why am I discussing these eccentric truths with you right now? Because I suspect you will be living proof of them in the months to come. 

What if the Creator is like Rainer Maria Rilke's God, "like a webbing made of a hundred roots, that drink in silence"? What if the Source of All Life inhabits both the dark and the light, heals with strange splendor as much as with sweet insight, is hermaphroditic and omnisexual? What if the Source loves to give you riddles that push you past the boundaries of your understanding, forcing you to deepen your perceptions and change the way you think about everything? Close your eyes and imagine you can sense the presence of this tender, marvelous, difficult, entertaining intelligence. 

^ One could wonder if this is in reference to the one attractive Afrikaner I've ever met (yesterday) and is living next door? The one with the name in which you have to practically hock and spit to pronounce correctly? I have my doubts. 

Now playing:

Dizzy Gillespie | Groovin' High (Album)

brown paper packages..

I've been here for a year.

Apart from what little clothing will survive the next year and two months, the bulk of what I'll end up shipping home is probably going to be the little pieces of my village, and host country that I've accumulated.. 

It's about time to buckle down and find gifts for people, right?

And stop gathering things for myself... Maybe?

These are a few of my new favorite things that I've assembled here in Africa:

—a fair condition 1954 edition of Bezinstation, by Sinclair Lewis, in Afrikaans, reclaimed in Windhoek.

—a brittle ivory and brown speckled snail shell found abandoned during the rainy season.

—eight mismatching hand-carved chess pieces from the dollar basket in a Swakopmund antique shop.

—two intricate, handwoven baskets in varying shades of brown from the Kavango region.

—a fair condition 1899 edition of Shakespeare's Tragedy of Hamlet, with etchings, published by Harper & Brother's Publishers, inscribed: Ernest Marvin, L.H.S. on the front inside cover—the back plays host to a longer inscription in cursive English, but I've yet to crack it—poached from the Rundu office.

—a handmade red seed necklace purchased at a craft vendor's stall in Nkhata Bay, Malawi.

—five vibrant multi-coloured akayhes [shitenges\kenti cloth wrap skirts] purchased in Namibia and Malawi, and drunkenly sewn by yours truly during quiet weekends in the village.

—a hand carved cane, stained deep brown—with a hand loop from the Caprivi \ Zambezi region.

—a substantial piece of clear quartz—I like to pretend its a massive diamond—found near the Botswana border during a hike.

—an assortment of feathers from exotic birds, and some lesser so, found during walks in the village, and in the bush.

Now playing:

17 songs | 1 hour, 26 minutes

Jamiroquai | Supersonic [The Love Mix]

Jamiroquai | Feels So Good

Jamiroquai | You Give Me Something

Jamiroquai | Picture Of My Life

Jamiroquai | Canned Heat

Jamiroquai | Planet Home

Jamiroquai | Black Capricorn Day

Jamiroquai | Soul Education

Jamiroquai | Falling

Jamiroquai | Destitute Illusions

Jamiroquai | Supersonic

Jamiroquai | Butterfly

Jamiroquai | Where Do We Go From Here?

Jamiroquai | King for a Day

Jamiroquai | Love Foolosophy

Jamiroquai | Virtual Insanity

Jamiroquai | Little L

i've never...

...missed an opportunity to steal a blue ballpoint pen left behind by a careless owner.

...sat in a meeting, training, or workshop without doodling some artwork on my paper.

...gone more than four days without reading a book.

...fully finished an art project.

...made love in the open air, nor within a body of water.

...been unfaithful in a relationship.

...sat comfortably at a family dinner.

...enjoyed answering questions about myself.

...been comfortable with dishonesty or omission.

...swam the entire length of a swimming pool.

...swam naked.

...mastered a hula-hoop.

...refused an offer of chocolate milk.

...successfully driven a manual transmission.

...slept under the stars without the protection of a tent.

...been on an island only accessible by boat or flight.

...ridden in a helicopter or air balloon.

...witnessed the aurora borealis.

...done anything dangerous, apart from reckless driving on long stretches of country road.

...parachuted, bungee-jumped, cliff-dived, para-sailed, zip-lined, or water-skied.

...rappelled down a rock-face or into an underground cave.

...stood at the base of, nor swam in the pool of, a waterfall.

...seen a volcano up close and personal.

A number of these, I'm just fine with never having had done them...

A few others... my goal is to cross them off this list within a years’ time.

** Updated eleven months later. 21 June 2015...

Manchewe Falls | Malawi

noteworthy | not_worthy

Blurry recollections of June..

2 June

A snow [sick] day.. Minus the snow. Got dressed for work, nixed it, and dove under covers fully clothed, coat included. It smelled of smoke and braai.

3 June

Stranded between Grootfontein and Otavi for fours hours wrangling a shredded lorry tire. Men of the world.. If you are going to refuse assistance, please loosen the nuts on the wheel hub before you jack up the cab. We women will judge you less harshly.

5 June

Committed grand larceny... Or at least aided and abetted. It was delicious, so they tell me, am not fond of chocolate. Felt guilty immediately. Still disposed of evidence.

Other surprises as well..

6 June

Eleven people on two twin beds shoved together. Top night. Freezing cold top night.

7 June

Chicken Fried Kudu, and a multitude of beers and ciders waiting for the combi at Mururani. Disposed of the evidence before they pulled in at the shop. E— sang Michael Jackson waaaay too loud during drive back through the bush. We weren't covert after all.

8 June

Every Sunday is like the last day of summer vacation. I try to mentally compel the earth's rotation to sloooow down and allow me a few more hours.

11 June

Crisis. Red Alert. Programs vital to my PC failed after downloading new CAB files. 88% downloaded into fix and re-install - lost internet access. Lost progess. Lost all files. Lost mind. I wasn't so much eating my feelings as carb and dairy loading to make my body leaden and weaken into someone who didn't have the impulse to throw her pc against the wall. Saved, sort of, by Libre Office. Still waiting to judge until have downloaded updated version. I miss my 'Normal' template. Margins just so.

16 June

Three day weekend about to end.. Earth stop spinning, earth stop spinning (but don't fling me into space)..

19 June

It seems no one like tests. Or reading their notes to prepare for said tests. Children of the world united.

20 June

Played 'stick or snake' on the drive through the bush. It was a snake. It's always a snake. P— turned the car around just to prove it.

21 June

Dog eaten shoes. Not mine, but worse than the time little kids stole my socks from my purple plaid high-tops outside the tent at that one UNESCO world heritage site.. Or the 'cow' that 'stole' the fish. Damned kids.

23 June

First opportunity in eleven months to have sushi. Inhaled massive order in under five minutes.

29 June

Forget Romeo and Juliet. Greatest love-story of all time: Groundhog Day.

writer's bollocks.

In trying to gather my thoughts of the holiday..

I’m having trouble tacking down the happenings.

And the men..

Paradise. Experimentation. Surprises. Long talks. Short swims. An invisible lighthouse. Mayflies. Grueling overland travel.

The long talks were up there.

Especially with the Brit.

I never knew where we were going to go with it.

But we always circled back.

Having a series of long discussions with someone with a mastery of the language is an aphrodisiac after a long lull, having had subsisted so long on stilted half conversations.

Of note.. A—, N—, C—, C—, D—, B—, A—, and even M—..

Then again, if you can transcribe everything you felt and all that happened, perhaps you were paying too much attention, and enjoying yourself too little..

This holiday definitely topped the last.

Even with the overland madness.

Nevertheless, a list of notable firsts (those I can recall, that is)...

Climbed my first fence. Ever. (Cattle gates and corrals don't count).

An ambulance ride, as a hike.

Witnessed the madness of a mayfly swarm. As J— would, and did, say, "I hate it.."

Folded to peer pressure in taxi rate negotiation.

Slept in a hostel (discounting the Belgian Nunnery – it had private rooms).

Broke a rule in blatant disregard to serious repercussions. (I’m really quite straight-laced).

Spent half a month’s pay on a party dress. Happy belated birthday to me.

Beheld thousands of years old rock paintings. (Your facsimiles were poor, Field Museum)..

Traveled through a logging area for first time. Damn non-native pine species in eerie rows.

Wild eagles up close while straddling the bow on Lake Malawi.

Broke a terrible record. Enjoyed every minute of it.. Especially evening two.
Enjoyed a plate of greens mostly every night.. (Thanks, N—).

New locales: Zambezi (Caprivi) Strip, Zambia, Malawi.

Now playing: Idlewild | Outkast … on repeat: Morris Brown… 

current..

deflections:

Yes, every one state side, Ebola has been confirmed in Guinea, Sierra Leone and Liberia.

I'm not sure you get how this vicious virus works… or geography.

procrastinations:

I see you pile of exams. I will mark you eventually. However, since you have no bearing on the grades of my learners, and interrupt the precious little class time I actually have, I resent you, and therefore am going to ignore you for now. Take that, Namibian education system.

new responsibilities:

Math. Grade 6 + 7. I hope there isn't any geometry. SOHCAHTOA… and D = π x r… or something.

worries:

The status of ownership regarding my furniture as my best friend’s girlfriend moves in… Don’t get rid of my stuff, please… Alternatively, don’t be wierded out by living with my stuff. Advice. Don’t let N— fatten you up with his delicious food. I’ve lost around 40 pounds in the past eight months. I attribute this to the lack of his delish cooking. And not drinking beer every day.. And, you know, walking everywhere… Hi. We’ll meet eventually. 

media cravings:

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (film)

Much Ado About Nothing (2013 film)

Sherlock — His Last Vow (season 3 finale)

Crystal | Stevie Nicks

Who did that to you? | John Legend

Disclosure | Settle (album)

this week’s horoscope:                 

"The truth's superb surprise," wrote poet Emily Dickinson, may be "too bright for our infirm delight."
Sometimes we've got to be careful about articulating what's really going on. "The truth must dazzle gradually," she said. If it hits us too fast and hard, it may be difficult to digest. So did Emily suggest that we should lie and deceive? No. "Tell all the truth," she declared, "but tell it slant." This is excellent advice for you in the coming days, Aquarius.

According to Jewish legend, there are in each generation 36 righteous humans who prevent the rest of us from being destroyed. Through their extraordinary good deeds and their love of the divine spark, they save the world over and over again. They're not famous saints, though. They go about their business anonymously, and no one knows how crucial they are to our well-being. Might you be one of the 36? As a temporary experiment, act as if you are.

upcoming adventures:

Zambia and Malawi...

an unofficial tally for the record..

One birthday.

One sick day.

One eighteen hour day.

Nineteen days of rain.

Two supply trips to Rundu (counting today).

Three failed lesson plans.

Fifteen LPs inside the park.

Thirty three books short for class of forty one.

Thirty books ordered, so still still three books short.

Four reams of paper used (seems like).

Three tests given.

Three instances of corporal punishment witnessed.

Three instances of complete impotency.

Seven occasions of confiscated ‘whip’ sticks.

One occasion of spontaneous applause from third graders.

Six colored pencils stolen by learners.

Seven eventually returned… (?)

Four pairs of scissors stolen by colleagues.

Two still missing in action.

Two loads of laundry washed.

One half load still on line.

One new akayhe (sitenge) sewn.

Two bracelets woven, six paperclips destroyed to make clasps.

One accident with needle nose pliers and wire cutters.

Two minor blood blisters.

Two occasions of pancakes.

One burnt hand.

One failed batch of apple sauce.

Twelve new books.

Eight re-reads.

Nine candles depleted.

One new favorite film (Cloud Atlas).

Three village soccer games attended.

One faux fainting witnessed (oh, those Nairongas).

One lost bottle of shampoo on combi.

One giant bed delivered.

One fridge with settings of deep freeze or lukewarm.

One enormous reading desk.

One uncomfortable desk chair.

Two new pairs of free-pile jeans. 

One cast off Nam T-shirt.

And tonight.. Tonight there will be pizza. 

Two whole pizzas. 

Followed (or preceded) by two bottles of Goats Do Roam.

I'm not that picky. 

Happy weekend, everybody.

my day; a list...

Curse the existence of flies during morning walk to work.

Arrive five minutes late to morning staff meeting.

Find out it’s a three day weekend this week (Yippee).

Stare at scheme of work, willing brain to come up with effective teaching aid ideas.

Scribble notes for a couple of hours into journal.

Discover the 7 year age gap in my future 5^th grade class (Ouch).

Inadvertently instigate a draw-off between my HOD and (probably) future Rukwangali Tutor.

Get in a circular conversation about poverty in America versus Namibia w/ Namibian colleagues.

Remind them, again, I have never met the UK Volunteer who preceded me in the village. (If J. Butler is referred to as my colleague – as opposed to theirs – again, I may kick someone).

Carry home 40+ HIV/AIDS posters to the amusement of school secretary.

Grill up Hawaiian veggies and eggs.. Mmm.

Make mistake of spending time (ages) with eight year old host sister to get her to distinguish the difference in pronunciation of ‘heart’ and ‘hot’ (Success!).

Read two fluff crime novels.

Listen to a little jazz piano…

Nap.

Skip through a couple of episodes of Sherlock… Benedict Cumberbatch. ‘Nuff said.

Unroll yoga mat.

Attempt yoga [sober] for the first time in month.

Blast music..

Decide I needed to add a little wine into the mix.

Receive 20 distractions in form of texts.

Give up on yoga.

Do a little paperwork… (Little being the operative word)..

Gaze longingly at brand new shiny journal that I am not allowing myself to write in until I’ve finished the one I’m working on now.

Stash said temptation under a pile in my room.

Stare at the corner peeking out from under the pile.

Accidentally rip my mosquito net out of ceiling in effort to reposition new moleskine out of sight.

Teeter precariously on plastic chair to re-attach hook holding net into ceiling.

Get bitten by two mosquitos in the interim.

Re-reading this, it occurs to me that I may be becoming a bit cracked.  

Or it’s just Monday.