I alternate between an immovable object and an unstoppable force.
A sedentary slug and a goals driven workaholic.
One ponders the vastness of the universe. One seeks to make a lasting
mark. They compliment each other. They cancel each other out. They
work in unison. They wrestle for victor.
In the long run, neither will win. One will not rise up and overcome
the other.
I like them both.
In one I recognize my littleness, my humanity, my insignificance, my
futility. Not in despair, or depression, or as an existential crisis
(I haven't the ego for that anyway); but in wonder and awe, knowing I
will never know the answers to anything, really, and what do I need
them for, anyway?
The other recognizes the broken, that which is need of a fix, repair,
or a lift. It thrills in puzzles and problems, and quickly kicks into
action, unconsciously formulating plans and solutions. It sails
through, mindless of time, managing to fix what has been rent,
organizing that which has been cast around thoughtlessly.
The 'problem' that arises from a personality such as this, is: What
in hell am I to do with it, practically? (My workaholic side breaking
through, now). I'm at a point at my service, when it's time to start
planning the next step. More schooling? Or job? Or travel? My
workaholic side desires the former and the second; she fears the
latter... Both sides want the latter, but on their own terms..
What to do now?
The indolent, quixotic side(s) hope that I fall into whatever is
next.
old
and current (freewill) horoscopes:
Week
of 31 July:
"I
just sort of drifted into it." According to author Gore Vidal,
"That's almost always the explanation for everything." But
I hope this won't be true for you anytime soon, Aquarius. You can't
afford to be unconscious or lazy or careless about what you're
getting yourself into. You must formulate a clear, strong intention,
and stick to it. I don't mean that you should be overly cautious or
ultra-skeptical. To make the correct decisions, all you have to do is
be wide awake and stay in intimate touch with what's best for you.
Nineteenth-century
English poet Dante Gabriel Rossetti wrote a series of sensual sonnets
inspired by his relationship with his wife Elizabeth. Before he could
publish them, Elizabeth died. He was so distraught he placed the only
copy of his manuscript in the grave with her. Years later, though, he
decided the love poems were too good to consign forever to the
oblivion of the dirt. He had the coffin disinterred and recovered his
work.
Draw
inspiration from Rosetti's change of heart. Reclaim riches you once
abandoned or left for dead.
Week
of 7 August:
"The
thorn arms the roses," says an old Latin motto. The astrological
omens suggest you'll be wise to muse on that advice in the coming
weeks. How should you interpret it? I'll leave you to draw your own
conclusions, of course, but here are a few hints. It may be that
beauty needs protection, or at least buffering. It's possible that
you can't simply depend on your sincerity and good intentions, but
also need to infuse some ferocity into your efforts. In order for
soft, fragile, lovely things to do what they do best, they may
require the assistance of tough, strong, hearty allies.
Play
the game called "Tell me the story of your scars." It's
best to do it with a skilled empath who is curious about your fate's
riddles and skilled at helping you find redemption in your wounds.
"How
did you get that blotch on your knee?" he or she might begin,
and you describe the time in childhood when you fell on the sidewalk.
Then maybe he or she would say, "Why do you always look so sad
when you hear that song?" And you'd narrate the tale of how it
was playing when an old lover broke your heart. The questions and
answers continue until you unveil the history of your hurts, both
physical and psychic. Treat yourself to this game soon.
^ These have had an eerie parallel with reality the past few weeks.. Eerie, I say.